When I was a kid, I never understood what my parents meant when they talked about holiday stress.
The way I saw it, this time of year was awesome! You get neat presents. You get to hang out with your cool older cousins at family gatherings. There’s lots of football on television. What could possibly be so stressful about the holidays?
Fast forward about 20 years and I’d say today, I live in a home that is similar to many of yours. That means there’s a nearly endless list of things to do around the house during the holidays.
When one starts to think about it all, things start to swirl — multiple airport trips to pick up relatives, shopping and more shopping, family holiday photo shoots, food to be purchased, food to be prepared, food to be cleaned up, parties to attend, kids to be wrapped, presents to be tended to and toys to destroy, err, I mean, assemble!
Go ahead and throw work on top of this, and did I mention that some relatives maybe aren’t the easiest to deal with?
Mom, Dad — I now understand.
So what can one do to stop the swirling?
For an answer to this question, I contacted Susan Smith, manager of the UNMC Faculty Employee Assistance Program (FEAP). For those who don’t know, Smith and her FEAP colleague, Marlene Schneider, are available to employees who want help dealing emotionally-difficult situations such as work, home and financial stress as well as addiction issues and various other stressors.
Smith pointed to two key producers of holidays stress:
- People setting too high of expectations for themselves; and
- People forgetting what’s really important during the season.
For many, having a perfect dinner or getting the right gift overshadow spending time with friends and loved ones, Smith said.
This seems particularly prevalent in women, Smith said, as they often take on much of the responsibility of running the show during the holidays.
To help reduce stress, Smith suggested making a to-do list and honestly assessing what are the true priorities.
“Be very discriminating about what you will emphasize and make your list as simple as possible,” Smith said.
And when it comes time to getting stuff done, people should be willing to ask for help and delegate responsibility. This will help the holidays become something people enjoy rather than something we endure, she said.
Smith also noted that stress management during the holidays will be much easier if people adopt attitudes and behaviors throughout the year that keep their stress levels down.
“Reducing stress takes practice, it’s really something you have to do all the time,” Smith said.