When Doug Barak was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 2014, that diagnosis came with uncertainty, anxiety and fear. What it did not come with was an instruction book.
Doug’s wife, Colby, decided she wanted to change that for other families dealing with a cancer bombshell. So, she wrote down everything she wished she would have known from the day they got that life-changing phone call.
“We had family and we had jobs, and we had a life. And then all of a sudden, this bomb went off in the living room. One of the pillars of this household – the foundation of this household – was sick,” she said. “So now, on top of those other things, there are doctor appointments and testing and paperwork and money.”
Colby’s background in administrative assistance and project management kicked in to help her find answers.
“I did what I do. I started making lists,” she said. “What do I need to know? What don’t I know? I called my insurance company. What’s covered? What isn’t?”
She put what she’s learned over the 10 years of her husband’s cancer journey into a book: “My Spouse Has Cancer (Which Means WE Have Cancer) – A Practical Workbook for Cancer Caregivers.” The guide focuses on the realities of navigating things like insurance and bills, applying for leave and legal planning. It is meant to be used as a tool, with worksheets, charts and plenty of space for families to jot down questions for their partner’s care team.
Nebraska Medicine used a grant to acquire copies of the book to give to patients and their families free of charge.
“It is very well laid out and easy for families and patients to navigate,” said Rebecca Duchman, director, ambulatory infusion and treatment center. “The feedback I’ve gotten from our Social Work team is that it’s a valuable tool for families.”
Patients or their partners can stop by the resource center on level two of the Fred & Pamela Buffett Cancer Center to get the book, or they can request a copy from their case manager or social worker.
Sections in the workbook also offer advice on fundraising, self-care and how to accept help from others.
“I looked it up – there are over 1.7 million new cancer diagnoses every year,” Colby said. “People dropped into a hole. I often put it that this is me tossing down my flashlight. I take them through the steps that I went through.”
Colby and Doug Barak before Doug’s initial diagnosis.
Doug said he’s proud of his wife’s efforts to help others. He has a strong recollection of meeting a couple newly impacted by cancer as he waited for an appointment.
“I just knew they needed someone to talk to them and try to explain what to expect and how to be hopeful,” Doug said. “So, I went over, and I talked to them for a little while. And that’s who I hope this book gets to. People like that.”
Since his initial diagnosis, Doug’s health has been a roller coaster of treatment plans, recurrence and life changes. He hopes Colby’s book is helpful for other families experiencing those ups and downs.
“There can be a light at the end of the tunnel. You can see your kids graduate. Go to their plays and sporting events, and you still have that ahead of you,” he said. “And if you work hard and stay positive and do all the right things in the right order and get good doctors and a good support group – that all can be accomplished.”
I am so proud of my sister-in-law Colby for writing this book and sharing it with others who are on this challenging journey. I am also proud of my brother Doug for his strength, courage, and unwavering faith during his battle with cancer. I am blessed to have them both in my family.
I went to High School with Doug. I saw him a few years ago at a class reunion. He is such a polite, kind, and caring person. His wife is outgoing, energetic, and also very kind. I am sorry to hear they are going through the cancer journey. Giving back when you are overwhelmed is a beautiful, powerful and a selfless act. Thank you Colby and Doug!!